When Death is Enticing… Choose Life

By Crystal Renaud

I have but a few words add to the already very long dialogue taking place right now after the death of actor Robin Williams. I know not all will agree with me, but this is my truth based on my own experiences. Thanks for stopping by. 

When a tragedy like this happens many cry “mental illness!” and “depression!” as a way to try and understand. It is normal for people to scramble for answers to a senseless act. And because no one chooses the path of mental illness and it is a long-suffering battle, it makes sense and…

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Silence

Just one of my favorite poems. Wanted to share it with you in case it speaks to your heart in the same way it does to mine sometimes.

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Silence by Bradley Hathaway

What’s happening here?
I was once so alive and now I’m so full of dread and almost dead
Show me Your wounded head that is lead to communion with the Father

But where did He go?

His presence seems farther and farther away each day
but I’m trying so hard to steer His way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay

Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all…

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If My Heart Could Speak for Itself

Most of you know I battle depression—this is the thorn in my side (2 Corinthians 12:6-10) God has asked me to bear. To bear so He can boast in my weakness and to bear so I can trust in Him to deliver me. And I know there is a great story in all of this just waiting to be revealed as well.

But right now, depression and I are dancing again.

I am hurting; feeling defeated and depleted.

But thankfully this season isn’t as bad as the last.

Or so it seems.

Unfortunately for me, I am a stuffer. I stuff and stuff…

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How do I risk it all again?

Is it just me, or does it seem like making friends used to be easier?

The other afternoon I was standing in my front yard enjoying the fall colors, smells and cool temps when my state of autumn nirvana was interrupted by the sound of little neighbor boys barreling down the street. I found myself mesmorized by their innocence and just watched them for a bit. When they stopped at another neighbor’s house I overheard the following take place:

*Knock-Knock*
“Hey, can you come out and play?”

Soon, another young boy ran out of the house, out with the other boys and…

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Farting Rainbows

Well, if you follow my twitter you have seen me vaguely referring to some recent family drama. This is all causing a lot of pain for my family right now and we’re in need of prayer. Particularly my brother and his family (which I hope you will commit to). While I am not going to post in detail what is going on (I want to protect my family’s privacy and dignity) I did want to write something on my blog this week.

Something… in the light of the fact that my writing has been null and almost void as…

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Sorry, No Clever Title…

I fight depression. There. I said it.

And it has been a battle I’ve waged since my late-teens.

Not constantly.
I have high hills and low valleys.

Why am I writing about this today? Well, friends… the Big D is back. And it is back bigger than I have experienced it in a long while. This particular bout has been a long-time coming though (since Christmas I reckon). But I ignored it, trying to be strong and beat it without the aid of something chemical.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to learn from the past.

The biggest way depression affects me is…

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