The Fraudulent Waters of Baptism

When I was in the throes of my addiction to pornography, it was very important to me that I appeared like I had everything together. That my life wasn’t run by my flesh, but that I loved God so much that every move I made and every word I spoke reflected Him. But in striving to do this, I skipped steps of faith and even lied to keep up the appearance.

Take my baptism, for example.

I was fifteen years old and had just started attending a new church with my mom. I found myself at youth group at the invitation…

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Since Everyone Else is Talking About Anthony Wiener

People say he’s a pervert. People say he’s a bad husband. But Anthony Wiener is not that special. He just happens to be in a position where his indiscretions are plastered across news headlines.

The reality is we’re all just one poor decision away from the same fate.

In this day and age where it’s becoming increasingly more popular (ie. cool, funny) to nonchalantly send private material to boyfriends, friends and even strangers (otherwise known as sexting), there’s something we can all learn from the likes of Anthony Wiener:

What you believe you’re sharing privately probably won’t stay…

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My Response to the Naysayers

A little over a year ago, I agreed to be interviewed for a secular women’s magazine. The reporter presented the article to me in such a way that they were really interested in female pornography addiction and wanted to feature it.

So initially it seemed like a good idea. Chalk it up to the inexperience and gullibility of a newbie.

She was friendly. She asked the right kind of questions. She even commended our work. But then the article was released—and I was immediately filled with regret.

Instead of writing an article about the issue of female porn addiction, the reporter’s…

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To Never Feel Like Her Again

Last weekend I had the opportunity to hold a book signing at a church in Nevada. A great community of people who exemplify grace to the broken and downtrodden.

As I sat behind the 8-ft. folding table ladened with books, pens and brochures I found myself overcome with a feeling I haven’t felt in nearly eight years of sobriety.

ALONE. . .

While the staff and the volunteers were incredibly supportive, I was surprised by the looks and comments I received from many church attenders who stopped by and walked by…

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My Biggest Addiction Isn’t to Porn

For as long as I can remember I have had an issue with pride.

I can remember back to the 4th grade when I was given a solo in the school Christmas program. I was all jazzed about getting to sing my heart out with my very own microphone. But then the week of the program, my music teacher decided she wanted another girl to sing with me.

A duet.

Even on the night of the program I remember pushing myself ever closer (and pushing her further away) to the microphone so that my voice would carry over hers. After all, I…

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Why I Told My Dad

If you’ve been following my story very long you know that my dad shows up every so often in the stories I tell. Usually about how he wasn’t around for me emotionally. Or even much physically. How perhaps even that lack of relationship may have contributed to some of the trouble I got myself into. While some of those things may be true:

This time I’m taking responsibility for what I didn’t do.

It was only 4 months ago that I finally got up the courage to tell my dad about my past.

If you put it together the 8…

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“Come Stand in the Light…”

Most of you may not realize that my full-time job is actually in church communications and am actually a Regional Network Coordinator for the Center for Church Communications. I fully believe in God’s use of creativity, media and communications in carrying out His message in the Church and beyond.

I was able to attend Echo (a church media conference) with a couple of co-workers last week. During worship at the main sessions the worship leader Jon Abel led Matt Maher’s “Christ is Risen”. This is not a new song, but it has quickly…

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Cheapening God’s Grace

Last night I found a “goals” type of school paper I wrote when I was just 16 years old. Behind pretty words about my newfound faith and elaborate life goals hid a girl who was hopeless.

A girl entangled by pornography and sexual addiction.

I clearly remember when I wrote this paper. It was the beginning of my junior year. My teacher at the time “Mr. Boothe” asked us to write a paper on what we hoped to accomplish during the remainder of our high school careers and what we hoped…

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